Hooked On Romance

According to Abba in Dancing Queen, anybody could be that guy. But not any song hits the right note. You guessed it, I'm a writer that prefers music when I'm writing. Normally I have a predesignated soundtrack that I listen to the entire time I'm working on a book, but this last book was a bit different.

I had my songs prechosen to work to, but when I started writing, they just didn't work. So, I went back to my iTunes library and found some that worked for me. The next day that music would be more of a distraction so I would have to shift to a completely different mood. It was bizarre, I bounced around between stuff like Coldplay to mood CDs you would listen to during a massage or facial to Godsmack and Disturbed.

There were a few songs that stayed completely true to the story that were on that first playlist, songs that I'd planned to be sort of like Kami's theme songs. Turns out that while I had the song right, in a few cases I had the character wrong. And through it all, Abba continued to pop in with Dancing Queen. Funny thing about that song, when it doesn't match the rest of your play list and you've been sitting and writing for 2.5 hours, it's a great signal to get up and move around. Dancing around like a loon every time that song came on kept me writing until shortly after 5:00 this morning, which allowed me to finish up the story I was working on.

So, here's my playlist. Which songs do you think were for the hero and which were for the heroine?

~ Dirty Little Secret by The All-American Rejects
~ I Bruise Easily by Natasha Bedingfield
~ I'm a Believer by The Monkees
~ Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park (not sure of his spelling)
~ Hanging By A Moment by Lifehouse
~ If I Fall by Tara MacLean

First off, if you haven't checked out Jax's personal blog you should. She came home to an awesome surprise from her man. http://jaxadora.blogspot.com/2009/09/best-ever.html

Jax's blog reminded me of something I was thinking about the other day--how different men and women are but how alike we are, too. Our differences are vast. While there are men like Jax's Mr. Right who have a large creative streak in them, men tend to be more logical and streamlined in their thinking while women are more inclined to take the emotional approach to things. CIS, my husband, and I are the same way. He worries about the little things right now and I look farther out and what can be accomplished if we get creative with the little things now. I guess that's a sign that I'm the creative and emotional one in our relationship. :)

For example, I know that CIS understands what it's like to be creative. He plays the saxophone and used to do photography (and was really good). He listens to me babble about writing and plotting and characters enough that he has a good idea what I go through on a story, though he still thinks it's easy to bust out 20+ pages in one day. Doable, yes. Easy, not always.

Anyway, our oldest kiddo, Chaos has started playing the flute. Pain and agony from listening to the beginning practices has ensued. CIS and I had a debate over whether or not to get private lessons for Chaos. He wanted to get the lessons because he could have been a better sax player if his parents had been able to give him that edge, but they're not cheap and money is one of those little things CIS stresses about. (And yes, I do know that money is not a little thing.) He was so worried in fact that he decided against private lessons. I however disagreed and put our name on the sign up sheet so I could get more information. (Insert normal married couple argument here over who is right. I sort of won the first round by calmly pointing out that we don't know how much the lessons would be without getting more information to make a more informed decision. Yes, I've learned the key buzz words to use on CIS.)

So, the call comes about the lessons. They aren't cheap, but neither are they as expensive as we expected them to be and they won't be as often as we'd anticipated which helps the cost. Now, I was mostly raised by a single mother but was still afforded the opportunity to compete Arabian horses through high school. I know what she went through to make that work for me. As a writer fighting to achieve my goals, just as I did when I was a kid riding, I couldn't sit back and not give my kid the advantages that could make the difference between mediocrity and greatness if I could od it and still have food on the table and a roof over our heads. If Chaos' dream is to play the flute, and who knows where that could lead, it's our job to make it work. Right?

There was a lot of passionate emotion in my "pro lessons" argument. So much so that I almost forgot to sprinkle in the logic that hubby needed to hear. It amazed me when we finally decided to go ahead with the lessons that I was reminded so starkly of how different CIS and I are. We get so wrapped up in the day to day of being parents and the pettiness of small arguments that we sometimes lose sight of why we fell in love with a person. CIS is willing to go to bat for me or the kids on anything that we truly want. He wants to see us work hard and put in the effort without sending him into debt, but ultimately his emotions win out and we get to do most of the things we desire.

We are tremendously different creatures and I couldn't be more glad about that. Even when he drives me nutty, CIS is the best companion and partner I could have chosen.

Tell us about the person in your life that compliments you. That drives you to be your best and supports you in your passions.

I was reading emails earlier and someone was talking about the genres of romance they like and someone else was talking about genres they've never read before. I got to thinking about all the different genres of romance and now I'm wondering, what is your favorite? What haven't you tried before? Why not? What would you like to see more of? Do you like your stories to be on the lighter side or dark?

Inspirational?
Young adult?
Contemporary?
Romantic suspense?
Paranormal?
Steam punk?
Fantasy?
Urban fantasy?
Erotic?

Come on. Don't be shy. Inquiring minds want to know.

I looked up the definition of romance in my dictionary this morning. It was interesting to see that the first definition listed is a list of the romance languages. In fact, what we often think of as the definition of romance is the third of four definitions. "Excitement, love, etc. of the kind found in such literature" according to Webster's New World dictionary. Out of curiosity, I went to dictionary.com. The listing there is a bit different.

–noun

1.	a novel or other prose narrative depicting heroic or marvelous deeds, pageantry, romantic exploits, etc., usually in a historical or imaginary setting.

2.	the colorful world, life, or conditions depicted in such tales.

3.	a medieval narrative, originally one in verse and in some Romance dialect, treating of heroic, fantastic, or supernatural events, often in the form of allegory.

4.	a baseless, made-up story, usually full of exaggeration or fanciful invention.

5.	a romantic spirit, sentiment, emotion, or desire.

6.	romantic character or quality.

7.	a romantic affair or experience; a love affair.

Is it me or do some of those definitions make it sound archaic?

It's so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day and forget to look for romance in our lives. Sadly, that's a habit that relates to more than romance.

I've noticed though that setting a goal to identify "romance" has kept me a little more focused on it. And I find it in un-traditional places.

Just this last weekend, we got together with a bunch of friends for July 4th. One friend is going through a rough patch, but watching him reminded me of so many of the heroes we read about in romance novels. He's solid and dedicated to his family. I watched him in the pool with his daughter and while most of the other adults were talking to each other, he was talking to and playing with his kiddo. She was the focus of his world and he didn't seem to miss the conversations around him. It's said that we as women often look for our fathers in our spouses. In this little girl's case, she couldn't pick a better man if she finds a man like her dad.

Seeing them together inspired me to come home and dive into a round of revisions. A lot of my current hero mirrors this friend of ours.

Keep looking for the romance!

Okay, I'll admit that parts of this image could be a little disturbing. But there is romance in it. The colors, the artist's attention to detail, the passion of the couple (a couple that some might think didn't belong together), and the mystical feel to it are only a few things that stick out to me.

These characters have found something special and beautiful in their world and while life goes on around them they. There's even a theme to the photo. Do you see it? If you can't, click on the picture and it will take you to a page where the artist talks about how he came up with the idea.

And speaking of finding romance in the world we live, I've given myself the challenge of looking for something romantic every day. It's occurred to me that sometimes what is romantic isn't all hearts and flowers. Sometimes it's simply something that makes you smile or that inspires you.

In the last week, here are 5 things that I've seen that struck me as romantic.

~ Jenius Jax as she stood with Mr. Right in my kitchen. They seem to always stand within touching distance and they exchange little gestures constantly that show they love each other.

~ Hanging out in the pool with CIS and Destruction. Taking time out of life's hectic schedule to play, relax and make a kid laugh holds a special kind of magic.

~ When I walked into the living room last night (after having been working late in my office) to find CIS and Chaos watching TV. Destruction was passed out in CIS' lap, and he was in no hurry to move her to her bed.

~ A massage. I had a horrible headache the other day and my shoulder was giving me fits. CIS stopped doing his chores and gave me a massage worthy of one I'd pay good money for. The headache went away and the shoulder felt much better afterwards.

~ A rainstorm. Yes, even dark gray clouds obliterating the sun and a torrential downpour pelting everything can be romantic and inspiring. How? It leaves a clean scent in the air, a brighter sky, and it makes the grass and trees a vibrant green.

So tell me, where is the romance in your life? What makes you smile? What inspires you?

I like background noise when I'm working. Recently, I was watching Chocolat and it struck me how great the movie is. Johnny Depp (in addition to being sexy) has an amazing on screen presence. His chemistry with Juliet Binoche was brilliant.

Their relationship was doomed and they both knew it. Still, they grabbed ahold of the time they had and made the most of it. They ignored what the townspeople thought. They thought about what was best for them.

More than that even, this movie reminded me of many of the subtleties that we as romance writers put in our stories. Life is hard. Secrets can be ugly. Hate and bias impacts us all. Tragedy strikes. But no matter how dark times grow, no matter how hopeless life may seem to be, there is the hope of something better.

Embrace the joy of life!

Romance really can be found anywhere. We just have to look for it. I get wrapped up in work and all the things I have to get done that I forget to look for it, and I've surrounded myself with it.

Pictures of my kids and family, handmade presents they make at school, a picture frame that was gifted to me, a ceramic bowl that my sister took my girls to make for me one Mother's Day, a frog that came from CIS that says Kiss Me I am your prince charming, and my TV that required CIS to get in the blazing hot attic to run wiring for are only some of the items in my office that were given to me with love in mind. And to top all of that off, it's in my office that was once CIS' dark room. He got rid of his stuff, redid the space, and installed a window for me so that I had my own place to work. Seriously, if that isn't romance I'm not sure what is. And though it isn't a vase of flowers, there is a rose bush planted outside my window that CIS bought me.

So you tell me, where is the romance in your life? From where you're sitting right this minute, what can you see that reminds you of someone that you love?

This is Hooked on Romance, right? Well, I've been thinking lately and decided to focus my Tuesday posts on romance and where it's found.

This picture is in it's own way romantic. It reminds me of the covers of romance novels from long ago. It also makes me wonder what an attractive and attracted couple would do if they were forced to spend a night in a secluded castle on a stormy night.

At the same time, it gets me thinking about how much romance novels have changed over the years. I grew up reading these books and my mom never cared. Today, most moms would flip at the thought of their young daughters reading romance novels. While the stories have grown sexier and as writers we take more risks with the stories we write, some things have stayed the same.

Romance novels, old and new, all have the same core. Romance. A story about a couple and their growing dedication to each other. So you tell me, what does this picture make you think of? How else have romance stories changed?